"Why am I so awkward and lonely? I just want to be normal." In my past year as a counselor, I have found that some of the more comforting and calming words I can share with people are these: "You are normal. You are not crazy or weird. Anyone in your circumstances would feel like you do. You are not the only one who feels this way. You are not alone. Everyone feels awkward sometimes. I say, embrace the awkward!"
Our Scripture reading is from 1 Peter 5:5-14 today, and Peter addresses the topics of humility, anxiety, and thinking of others who are suffering.
God created us for relationship; so it brings comfort knowing we are not alone. Satan uses the tool of isolation to make us feel lonely, hopeless, and without confidence. In a culture where we pride ourselves on building our kids' self-esteem, we have instead created a generation that is incredibly self-conscious and lonely. We brag on every kid, tell them how super special they are, and give everyone a trophy. Kids see right through our flattery, and they start comparing their talents with those of others. Deep down they may know they were not capable of being a star soccer player, but we gave them an award anyway. So we force them into this feeling of false humility, knowing they are undeserving of the applause. People feel so much more accomplished when they work for their rewards. Self-esteem comes from helping our kids recognize and excel in their God-given talents and passions. Our kids do not have to grow up to be professional baseball players or famous musicians. We can encourage them to be kind and compassionate and to think of others instead of always wanting to be the winners.
Our goal is to raise decent human beings, not arrogant, spoiled brats. Teaching our children to be confident and humble is difficult, but not impossible. You see, humility is not thinking that we are not good at anything. Humility is knowing we are good at something without being arrogant. Humility is knowing we can win the race but choosing to stop and help someone up who has fallen instead. One of Zig Ziglar's motivational quotes is, “You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.” True self-confidence leads to genuine humility, because a self-confident person has no need to brag or to prove themselves. Instead, they have the ability to put the needs of others before their own.
One of my favorite Christian songs right now is "Hills and Valleys" by Tauren Wells. It reminds us that we did not arrive on the mountain on our own, and we are never alone in the valleys. When we are self-confident, we are able to recognize that we did not get here on our own. So, we can give back by helping others achieve their goals. In turn, we get to enjoy the blessings of humbly putting others before our own needs.
Not only are we raising a generation that lacks self-confidence, but they are riddled with anxiety. And no wonder! We run them from activity to activity, and we hand them a digital device to keep them quiet in the car. Their brains are continually over-stimulated, and their human interaction is limited. Our kids are adrenaline junkies, and they flip out with anxiety if they do not have their digital device or if they are required to talk to another human face-to-face. We must teach them how to feel calm, to rest, to be still. It is okay if our children feel bored at times. We can let them use their creative imaginations instead of rescuing them from a moment of silence. We must teach our children to cast their anxiety on God, because He cares for them even more than we can imagine! (1 Peter 5:7)
The answers to your feelings of awkwardness, loneliness, anxiety, and selfishness can all be found in the Bible. Stop looking to find all the answers on social media or in the busyness of life. Stop. Be still. Humble yourself before the God who loves you without measure. Read His Word, and find peace for your soul.
