Song of Songs = the greatest of songs, just as King of kings = the greatest of kings, and Lord of lords = the greatest of lords. King Solomon wrote this song as a testimony of a true love story. Some scholars would say we should read this as a parable or an allegory. I want to know what’s wrong with reading it as a novel and as an example of how we should love our spouses. I will be writing directly to married women in my post today. Some of you might be shocked or appalled. Sorry. If any of this makes you terribly uncomfortable, feel free to meet us tomorrow in the book of Proverbs.
As a teenager, I got the message that the Song of Solomon was off limits for my young, innocent mind. Somehow I got the impression, though, that sexual intimacy was totally off limits for all Christians. When we teach our young people to save their purity for marriage, we must be sure to teach them that intimacy within marriage is a wonderful thing. As a dear Christian sister in Yuma, Colorado, says, “Sex within marriage is good! You can have it whenever you want it, and it doesn’t cost you anything.” Amen, girl!
Sadly, too many Christian couples are missing the joy of sex because satan has twisted our concept of what God created to be a beautiful act of devotion. Some of you are beet-red with embarrassment just reading the word on the screen, and you cannot believe a minister’s wife is actually blogging about the topic. Girls, that’s why so many of our marriages are in the dumps. Nobody talks about how to allow your husband to enjoy your body. Most of us think our husbands are perverted if they ask for sex more than once a month. God created us in His image, and God gave us the need for physical intimacy. It’s time to enjoy the gift!
Verse 2—Let him kiss me! Do you and your husband ever just sit on the couch or on the pickup seat and kiss? We used to when we were dating. Passionate kissing can stoke the fires! Give it a try.
Verse 3—Your perfume is pleasing. Here’s a fun date idea. Go to the mall together and try all the colognes and perfumes. Splurge and buy your favorites for one another, or if money is tight, save up and surprise your spouse with a gift later.
Verse 3—No wonder the maidens love you! Have you told your husband lately all the reasons you love and appreciate him? Do you point out the things other people admire about him? The rest of the world puts your spouse down most of the time. You be his cheerleader. If you aren’t his cheerleader, someone else will be. Believe me; you don’t want him finding another cheerleader.
Verse 4—Hurry! Take me away to your bed chambers! Say this to your husband tonight after dinner, or slip him a card with the words written on it. I’m guessing the results will be good.
Verse 4—The friends say . . . . You know, not many of us have any friends who encourage us to love our spouses. Most of our friends badmouth their own spouses, or their ex-spouses. Most people make fun of us if we hold hands or kiss in public, and heaven-forbid if we call each other a pet name. Ladies, let’s be encouragers of marriages.
Verses 5-6—Dark am I, yet lovely. The girl was ashamed of her looks because she had to work hard in the fields. Who among us does not have more than one thing we would like to change about how we look? Why are we never happy with the bodies God gave us? If we have straight hair, we want curly. If we have short legs, we want long. If we have breasts, we want them reduced. Good grief! Accept yourself the way God created you. Let your husband enjoy your body.
Verse 7—Tell me. Are you curious about your husband’s work? Do you ask about his day? Do you make an effort to find out where he is working at midday so you can make a surprise visit? Even a quick phone call just to say you were thinking of him can go a long way. Be interested in your spouse.
Verse 8—The friends are encouraging her to pursue him. Way to go, friends!
Verses 9-11—I liken you to a mare. This might not be the compliment you seek from your husband, but think about it. Have you seen how a stallion cannot resist a mare? Girl, that’s what you do to your husband!
Verses 12-14—All the senses are involved here: taste, sight, hearing, touch, smell. When you make love to your husband, pay attention to his senses. Make preparations beforehand to heighten his senses and yours.
Verse 15—How beautiful you are, my darling! When your husband pays you a compliment, do you take it in, or do you rebuff him? Since you and I don’t really like how we look, it is difficult for us to accept words of praise. Stop it! Listen to your husband praise you. Let him know how special you feel when he compliments your appearance.
Verse 16—How handsome you are. Likewise, we need to praise our husbands. Sure, we’ve all gotten older, and your husband may not be in tip-top shape anymore. But he still needs that assurance that you are attracted to him. Be sincere and tell him what draws you to him.
Verses 16-17—Our bed is verdant. Do you make your bedroom attractive, or is there laundry piled everywhere? Make your bedroom a love sanctuary.
Chapter 2—Okay, your assignment is to invite your husband to a love-making session with you. Begin by reading Song of Songs Chapter 2 to one another. Take time to enjoy one another as you read. Strengthen one another with apples and raisins. Allow him to embrace you. You get the picture.
Here’s to an exciting romance between you and your husband! I cheer you on, my friend!!!!
Amen, I am going to reread this later this evening as an encouragement for me to take the lead. That is an area I think we as ladies often neglect. My husband would love for me to initiate intimacy more often.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to encourage couples to go see the movie "Fireproof" It opens this weekend and would be a great date for you and your hubby!
You go, girl! You are right. Because we aren't wired like our husbands are, we forget to meet their needs for intimacy. In fact, we often discourage our husbands from asking for intimacy by making them feel like they shouldn't need it if we don't.
ReplyDeleteI have heard fabulous things about "Fireproof." Our church has tickets to see it on October 18. How was the screening at First Yuma?
The movie was great! We have had one testimony of a marriage moved to change by the movie already. We are looking forward to more!
ReplyDeleteThe marriage in the movie was like watching a movie of my marriage in the early years. We were right there on the brink of divorce also and our pastor challenged us to save the marriage. The Love Dare book was not around then but I definietly plan of getting a copy.
Dana, how ironic that you posted on Song of Songs. I just started reading that in my devotional time. This is a great reminder to cherish what God has given us within the marriage vows. Thanks for your insights. They're good.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been married nearly 21 years and we had gotten into the rocky road of "you're not meeting my needs." Guess where those attitudes ultimatley show up... our sex life or lack there of. We both really wanted our relationship closer and vowed to work on things. I believe God lead me to a secular article about a couple who had decided to have "101 days of sex". They said by committing to that goal, it changed them both. As I read the article I thought, let's give that a try! DH was willing(hee hee, surprise!) and I can't say it's been daily since we've started but much much more and both of our attitudes have changed. He talks to me more which makes me want to be closer to him. I'm meeting his need of intimacy which makes him want to talk tome and meet my need. Overall, we just enjoy being with each other more. YIPEE!
ReplyDeleteGive it a try... 101 days is a long time but you might just have fun and change your marriage in the midst of it all.
Thanks for talking openly about the "s" word!
Bless ya.
I have had the.......uneasy feeling from God that I haven't been....what is the word......diligent in this department. You are so right our husbands need to be encouraged too! :0)
ReplyDeleteThank you all for sharing
Kathy, the Bible reading plan we are using for this blog comes from the following link on Biblegateway. http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/readingplans/chronological.php We are doing a chronological study and hitting the highlights. It's been a lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteEagleeyes, thanks for your challenge to us. I think the real key is being willing to be the first to break the vicious cycle in the marriage relationship. If I wait until my husband meets my needs, or vice versa, then no one is satisfied. God calls us to selflessness, especially in marriage. Because Christ gave His all for me, I am able to offer myself fully to my husband.
Good word, Hilary! Diligent. Let's spur one another on toward diligence in our marriages!
Ok, Dana, I've just got to tell you that this post was pretty deep. I didn't even think about these verses talking about making love. To be honest what I thought about when reading these verses is "Now isn't that an interesting pick up line?" And I laughed about the picture I got in my head for "leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills." Yea, I'd like to see a guy do that for me. Anyways, thanks for sharing and making it more serious for me to think about. I just hope one of these days I get to try your suggestions with a husband.
ReplyDelete